Social Networking for Bros

Thursday, April 2, 2009 | |

Excerpt from a wall post:

whats up bro? hows life? hope everythings goin good and hit me up soon bro. 

March 25 at 11:31pm

Brose 12

Monday, March 30, 2009 | |

(2nd Floor Staircase Landing, Snell Library.)

Bro 1 (pushes "down" button on the elevator)
Bro 2 (proceeds to start walking down the stairs): Dude, we're on the second floor.
Bro 1: I know, bro. I'll see you down there.

Brose 11: Future Scientists of America

Tuesday, March 24, 2009 | |

Bro 1: Fuck organic chemistry man. He fucking teaches it like an advanced college class or some shit.
Bro 2:
Dude, I don't know what the fuck is going on in my chem lab, but I do know that I get to burn shit.

Brose 10

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 | |

Bro 1: Dude, you know they got chicken wings over there.

Bro 2: I know, man, I saw that shit earlier and I was like, 'Damn, they've got motherfucking chicken wings!'

Brose 9: Bros Discuss Politics

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 | |

Bro 1: Dude. What if Sarah Palin was president right now?
Bro 2: Pshhh, we'd all be dead.
Bro 1: I mean, how'd she get to be governor in the first place?
Bro 2: I dunno. She was never really that hot.
Bro 1: (Indignant) I just don't understand how people could say that they wanted a president who's like the average person. I'd rather have a president who's smarter than the average person.
Bro 2: Me too, dude. Me too.

The Brocery List: Nicknames

Sunday, February 15, 2009 | |

It is practically ingrained in the bro's subconscious to never refer to a fellow bro by his real name.

This can be achieved in one of two ways:
Firstly, there is the impersonal, or indirect, nickname. Examples include (but are not limited to) dude, man, bro, or, on the West Coast, brah.

But secondly, there is the personal or direct nickname. This name is used to specifically refer to an individual bro, and can stem from a multitude of sources.

A bro can develop a nickname from an embarrassing experience, like falling into a alligator cage at a zoo ("Reptile") or getting really drunk and passing out in a garage ("Garage"). These nicknames are usually used by fellow bros to bring back past memories, in a nostalgic sense. Bros are way into nostalgia.

Bro passed out in a garage might merit a nickname like "Garage" or "Lightweight."

A bro could be dubbed "Tubby" or "Fats" if he happens to be overweight, or "Limbs" if he is tall and gangly. These nicknames result from particular physical characteristics. These nicknames are usually used by fellow bros to exhibit negative qualities and emphasize negative physical characteristics, especially around girls.


A bro could also be called something relating to a positive past experience. If a bro were to have a sexual experience with three girls, he might be called "Foursome" for the rest of his life, or if he got front row season tickets to a Red Sox game he could be called "Theo." These nicknames are usually used by fellow bros in an honorary way to show respect.

Three girls + one guy = "Foursome"

Theo Epstein, General Manager of the Boston Red Sox.
Also a bro.

Lastly, but certainly not finally, a bro can be called something based on his name. Plays on names, such as "Danimal" or "Dan the Man" are used, like the Positive Past Experience Nickname, to show respect. In other cases, the nameplay might be in a derogatory way, like Physical Characteristic Nicknames.

Google Images search result for "Danimal." This is this guy's default MySpace picture.

Brose 8

Wednesday, February 4, 2009 | |

Bro 1: And when Jack pressed the button, man, I was so pissed! I was like, just let it go, bro!

Bro 2: Fuckin' Charlie, dude, he's a fucking whiney bitch!

Bros love Lost.